WARNING!

The Following is 100 percent Maple Syrup, nothing about the movie, just about something my daughter Sarah said this morning.

If such things make you sick, I’m sure a movie update will follow later.

THUS!

Steph was driving the kids to a play date when Sarah said she wanted to talk to Jesus (they had just passed a church).

So Steph and her started giving up thanks for the good things in life (I told ya this would be Maple).

 They went through the list of family, friends, so and so, and then Steph asked if Sarah could think of anything else she was thankful for.

Sarah said, “Hmmm, thank you Jesus for my pee pee hole.”

And I say ain’t it the truth.

Can you imagine life without the pee pee hole.

I can not, yet I take my pee pee hole completely for granted.

So if you are like me, I think you should take a moment of silence and give some gratitude to whatever higher power you may feel is apropos,

Just give it up for the wonderful gift that is the pee pee hole.

FIGHT EVIL
SD

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OPEN FILE, CVM

So we’ll start with just random stuff, and in five years we’ll have a movie!

 

... I’ll be happy with three.

 

 

Yikes

Maimed

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Space

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Dolly hi

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Wha

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UPDATE !

<<phone 6.jpg>> <<phone 2.jpg>> <<phone 3.jpg>> <<phone 4.jpg>> <<phone 5.jpg>>

So this weekend I am going to hit the movie hardcore!

Clown vs Monkey can not be denied, time to clear the books.

Going to work on the trailer, going to get a copyright report, going to transcribe a big chunk of movie.

Woo woo.

Basically the movie will be done with a few more swipes of a credit card, a few swipes across my wrist.

Bleed bleed bleed.

I’m in an awesome mood today, just knocking out the work, amazing what an Americano first thing does for me.

Nothing four hours of sleep and four shots of espresso can’t fix.

Depression is for the undercaffinated.

More to come.

Oh yeah, the treatment to CVM is almost done, so I need to register it.

This will be a series of web casts that have the censor bars over the nudity and gore,

To get the uncensored version, you’ll have to buy the dvd from the website.

Woo woo

More later

SD

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Self Fulfilling Prophecy

Man I am sleepy today; just feel like a sock at the bottom of the drier.

I have a good bit to do at the day gig today, sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Throw noise at people and it will feel like weight.

I have some training to do, so I better find my brain, but where I left it is anyone’s guess.

Where did you last see it?

-If I knew that I wouldn’t be asking you.

Don’t get defensive.

-Don’t call me names.

Grumpy.

-Eat me.

Brains!!!

-Good luck with that.

Hey!

-Told ya.

How are you moving?

-Don’t know.

This is weird.

- Probably.

This may be the way I write the next thing, now called Clown vs. Monkey or CVM for the Burger King cup promotion.

The Shatter Monkey script always tried to have clowns in it, so durn it, let there be clowns.

That story will become the overlying character arch set against the ongoing war between clown and monkey.

I may write it all as dialogue and then remove the dialogue, leaving people just doing stuff.

So I finished one annoying project and now I’m writing tickets for it.

THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING DAY OF MY LIFE (just putting that into the universe)

If someone I know says “In a nutshell” one more time, I may…

OUR DIFFERENCES MAKE US SPECIAL!

About those Alpha accounts you handled yesterday…

-Apple!?

No Alpha.

-Oh, I was about to say I ain’t ever heard of no Apple.

These Alpha accounts…

-I was like, is she going to give me an apple?

…

-Cause apples are delicious.

Um

- I Looooooooooves me some apples.

Are you.

- Apple Pie, heated on the grill, some butter, mm.

These Alpha accounts.

- I’m hungry now. You got me thinking about apples girl!

These…

-My blood sugar gets low I ain’t good for nobody.

Lata Killaz

SD

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Oh Zombeak, Where For Art Thou?

So today, early this morning we sent DR. DISTRIBO the synopsis in three various lengths, something I was supposed to do a while back, but was too scattered to do so. It really is something that should go in the press kit, but ya know, after having it in my brain for 5 years to then retroactivlty go backa nd sum up what it is about more then “chicken kills people” was tough.

Mainly it takes clearing the books and sitting down to do it in a nice quiet enviroment. HA!

So the next thing, the very next thing, is the trailer redo. A new trailer that makes it more trailer like. I really like the Speed Racer trailer. Fast and no voice over, tells the whole story with some dialogue clips and what not. Really pretty clever piece of advertising.

So the deal is to tell the whole story in 90 seconds, and just leave the cliffhanger on how it will all turn out.

Every line of dialogue has some vulgar slant to it, so we’ll see what happens.

Synch agreements are in the mail, rock and roll.

Then knock together the dialogue list set to the timecode. If I could just sit and work  in one horrid one night stretch we might get somewhere with it.

Then there is chain of title, or copyright report if I’m feeling all rich.

One bite at a time, that’s how you eat a Zombeak.

SD

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UPTODAZZLERCISE!

Yeah, I said it.

Here’s how a recent conversation with a distributor went:

Me – I can get it to you as I can, masters and such costs some do rey mi.

Them – I understand.

Me – Once I knock off a few more liquor stores we’ll be good to go.

Them – (silence)

Me - Figuratively speaking of course.

Them – (silence)

Me- Hello

Them - … I hear nothing.

So maybe this isn’t the kind of conversation they are looking for.

Maybe I need to wear my all growd up face.

Maybe I need to understand that this is a business.

People pay their bills doing this.

This isn’t some fantasy play world.

This is an industry run off industrious types.

People who get stuff done.

People who don’t take crap.

People who don’t suffer fools cause fools live in their parent’s basement.

Stand up straight.

Tuck in your shirt.

Stiff upper lip.

Finish your meat or no pudding.

Writing a long synopsis, synch agreement in mail, Quality control report is expensive, copyright report is expensive, chain of title is something everyone knows what it is but not what it looks like or how to handle it.

In film school they teach you how to spend money on all the wrong things.

Man I love the GO/FLOW

SD

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SHATTER MONKEY

Got a lot done on this last weekend,

Will be an endless series of 30 second webisodes on a dedicated myspace page.

Little vignettes that will be cut together as a feature once finished.

We will just take Sat mornings to run out and guerilla it (ha ha).

I want to really just focus on one scene at a time, make it special, before going on.

Each one interesting in its own way.

By the time we finish, the movie will have been around for a little while, may make it appealing for distrib, or at least sell it off the site.

It is really weird though, but I decided to not edit the story, just throw in all the riffs, why make it one thing. Why try to control it?

I don’t want to tame your animal style, you won’t be chained from the call of the wild (or something like that).

This will be part two in the Chicken + Monkey = Sandwich trilogy.

Find a way, then get out of the way.

SD

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Zombeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh....

What am I doing today?

 

Going to the store, buying cheese.

 

Going to Blockbuster, looking for something to watch.

 

Going to Starbucks tonight, making it happen.

 

What do I need to do?

 

Transcribe the film.

 

Recut a trailer.

 

Spend time with family.

 

I feel like I haven’t seen them in a week.

 

Today is about recharging some batteries and taking it easy.

 

 

SD

Cam

Cool

Dude, Where's My Movie?

To make a Digital Betacam of your movie in PAL and NTSC costs 400 dollars.

400 Donuts.

400 Junior Cheeseburgers

400 Sausage Biscuits

400 Large Ice Teas.

400 Blows

Anyway, expensive, but just one of those damn things you can’t get around.

Antiquated though.

Seems sending them an AVI file would be the better way to go.

Hmmmmm.

Whatever.

So now we need to do a new trailer cut, one with more story, they want to see if I got it in me.

Copyright report.

Quality Report from a lab (lab, that’s funny).

Synch Agreement from the composer (something in addition to the scrawled in blood agreement we had).

And that’s really it.

I sent the DigiBs to “the THEM” this morning, along with time coded screeners and a bunch of stills (what few we had, kick self in head).

That little list seems insane.

There was a sad moment sending it off, like sending a kid off to college.

Or your gimpy nephew off to the circus.

Whatever, but I reminded myself of all the pain and suffering still to come cutting trailers and “making of” docs for the internet.

Not to mention future films.

Not to mention the slow march to the grave!

Still have to figure out what the heck a copyright report is and how you get one.

Yea! Frustration!

SD

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Sooooo Clooooose

The list of deliverables shrinks and shrinks.

 

I only got about 12 minutes transcribed Sunday, took about 4 hours.

 

This thing is a chatter fest!

 

Need to revise the trailer, put in some one liners and a feeling of what the story is.

 

The hardest thing will be transcribing the film, but not hard, just gotta get in there.

 

New drink, Large Iced coffee w/ 3 pumps vanilla, 3 pumps caramel, and an energy pack.

 

GOOD FREAKING MORNING YOU FREAK DONKEYS!!!!

 

Sam D.

 

 

I'm Procrastinating!

http://www.wordplayer.com/pros/pr02.Dekker.Fred.html

Check out this awesome Fred Dekker essay!

SD

Wazup2day

So the fam has gone to mother in laws and I have the whole day (minus mass) to eat Chinese food, watch Fear.net on the tube (sleepwalkers is on) and transcribe the movie for our potential gent in waiting.

 

Dolling up the whore for her night on the town! Har har har!

 

Anyway, I’m not going to make any big announcement on the current developments until I see a defiantly definite, but we will say I’m learning a lot about this part of the process that no one ever talks about. This blog will be a good source if I ever do decide to write a book on underground filmmaking (not enough on those, wink).

 

Anyway, I have to transcribe the film to SMPTE time code, something I sort of already did in looping, but now I need to make it pretty.

 

Shouldn’t take forever, just until Christmas.

 

Embrace the Horror

Sam Drog

Chug!

Iced americano

Morning!

Cam and copyrights

Mop rocker!

From the director of zombeak!

Keep'n it reah

About to sign contract

From the 6.6.6 Premiere (long time ago)

Zombeak! photos!

Cleaning Stuff Out

Bunches of stuff

So we did a new trailer, low res below

Here is a drawing I did... yea me.

Just testing this out, go go.

Embrace the Horror
SD

Cameron b good

Stud muffn

Starbuck'n good!

Wait'n to split

Finally, The List of Deliverables!

This is GOLD baby!

Just so you guys out there not in the know can be in the know, here is what a distributor will ask for.

1.      Digital Betacam NTSC of movie - $140

2.      Digital Betacam PAL of movie - $235

3.      Digital Betacam NTSC of trailer - $43

4.      Digital Betacam PAL of trailer - $95

5.      Copyright of picture - $45

6.      Copyright of screenplay - ?

7.      All release forms (to clear the chain of title)

8.      Key Art on CD

9.      50 stills on CD

10.     Synopsis

11.     Credit Block

12.     5 DVDs of movie with trailer 

13.     DVD-R of movie with trailer

14.     Music Cue sheet

15.     All languages available

16.     Dialogue list

17.     Short form License Agreement – the contract

18.     Notarized Cert of Origin

19.     Quality Control report from professional lab of all masters

20.     Lab access to pic and sound elements

21.     E/O insurance (can be handled by company)

22.     Rating cert form MPAA of R (can be handled by company)

Anyway, this becomes like a scavenger hunt, gathering up legal forms and scrapping up the dough for the last few things, the last push before we sign off and let it go for good. I’m still planning on marketing the wazoo out of this up until the release date, but a much more relaxed pace now should be coming up.

Expect to see a boat load of behind the scenes minidocs floating around the web in the coming weeks and months.

ROCK IT OLD SCHOOL

SD

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What's Happening?!?

hey Hey hey!

That movie suggits!

SEIZURECISE – There is this new exercise craze sweeping the west coast in which you spend 50 dollars to be injected with a drug that induces an epileptic seizure. The seizure lasts about 30 minutes, and participants can burn up to 1300 calories per injection. This may be the magic pill people have been looking for, as it takes no voluntary will or action, and afterwards you don’t even remember it happened. You are fitted with a mouth piece and just left alone until the seizure subsides. People report feeling a calm cleansing energy immediately after.

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M. Night Samabangbang (maturity pills out)

Any movie that has a guy lie down under a running lawnmower has to be pretty cool.

Mark Walberg, well, he was good in The Departed.

People have treated this movie with no love, two friends have told be to just walk away and pretend it doesn’t exist.

I am not the biggest M Night fan, but the movies of his that I like most are the ones that make the least amount of cash.

Top two favorites:

Unbreakable

Lady in Water

So sue me, no one likes Lady in the Water.

No one but me, it is my favorite, despite him casting himself as the big writer dude.

But if you didn’t know it was him, it would be fine.

Whatever, Balaban dies great.

So I will prob like The Happening, will be seeing it tonight with Steph, our first night out in something like three months.

Finishing up at work now, realized some stuff today.

The things you are supposed to be doing should come as second nature and we are all variations of one another.

There are a lot of things that I can be doing right now that I hesitate in pursuing due to mental stigmas placed against them (by me).

These doors are open but I instead bang on the locked ones.

Doors you walk through lead to other doors.

These doors are hidden until you pass through.

Doors others walk through are closed to you.

If the path is worn down, it is not yours.

What is obvious to you is not obvious to others.

What is obvious to others is not obvious to you.

Before doing though, you have to get yourself right with God.

Otherwise all doing has no weight. Hollow. Vanity.

ROCK IT BY THE TRAMPLOAD!

SD

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Yada Yada Ya?

I will finish this Shatter Monkey script this week.

Just tear though it, been in my damn head for too long.

All the drafts up to this point have been too scattered.

This will be draft three.

I’m looking for something in it that hasn’t surfaced.

This week I’ll just put it out and be done with it.

You’ll be able to read it here on DROG/BLOG.

I post it by Sunday.

If not, I lied. Sue me.

Tonight, 99 cent ice creams at McD.

Kick it.

I will make it about 70 pages since this will be self distributed.

It will be made into a limited edition 1000 copies and then I put it away into the Smear Vault.

Kinda like Disney.

Do they really have a vault.

A bunch of Dumbo DVDs, VHS, Betas, Laserdisks, just gathering dust.

Old Man Disney’s reanimated head lording over the stacks of merchandise.

“Yes! All Mine! ALL MINE!!!” he bellows as drones toil away, erasing all memories of The Black Cauldron and Oliver and CO from the collective sub consciousness.

 

Black Hole was put out by Anchor Bay, that movie rules all.

Don’t stop- get it, get it.

SD

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SWIFF Update!

So that was a bomb and a half,

I will have to get you the video link and some frame grabs, it was fun!

Handsome Sweater played, and they rocked the house.

Low fi at its finest.

Then the movie played to a respectable 20ish in attendance. RAD!

They dug it, and I got stuff on video, will put it up soon.

Saw some lines I would like to cut, maybe I will, and maybe amp the saturation, maybe maybe.

The movie is fun for people, and some of the things that used to drive me crazy are actually what I like about it now.

The build up to the first chicken attack really works for me now, it is a long drive to get there, but has a good punch to it once it happens.

Build up build up build up and then it happens and is pretty ridiculous and weird.

Met Ron McCellen, director of Jack O’Lantern, he was a cool dude who makes horror stuff around town, is very prolific and ambitious, and very forth coming with answers to some distribution questions I had. AWESOME!

Sold some t-shirts and had some nice feed back, no one actively angry or condescending, so cool.

SO a successful night, followed by going to the Loafing Leprechaun with Fasmagger and shooting the breeze.

I am itemizing the costs of the deliverables.

Nee-ha.

Sam Drog

 

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Coffee, four shots of espresso on ice that I brought from work last night, little. And bit of sugar, puts me a really good mood. A day with out coffee is really not a day. I don't perceive it to be, every noise is too loud. All light is too bright. The hours drag on and on and we just automaton our way through it.

 

Add some strong coffee through out the day, and we'll be alright. Espresso is the bomb-diggity, but barring that, French press, and baring that, grind the beans just before the Mr. Coffee hits it, and if that can not be found, just wing it until you get to a place where you can find something decent.

 

The baby just woke up, Steph is out selling old clothes, I'm home from work today, making copies of the flick for the screening tonight. Sarah calls Cameron "Cam", and I like that of coarse.

 

Gotta GO!

sd

Eat it Monkey

So I found out that there is this mix that pool cleaners use to eat through scum that can be very volatile and even explosive if not handled with extreme care.

This makes me think of shooting Zombeak and how hard and hot and uncomfortable it all was.

We would kid that the next film should be filmed by a pool, in lounge chairs, with coolers of bevs everywhere.

Pool Party Massacre.

Pool of Scum

Scum Burner

Death Pool

Pool of BLOOOOOOOOOOD!

Cruel Pool.

We would make it like Gossip Girl or The Hills, and every time they wander away from the pool, some maniac gives them, the ultimate solution.

They would get marred and mauled by this acid that once activated can do pretty awesome and gross things.

We would just write a drama, and slowly write the characters out.

So we would start with some pour girl in some Saw like environment, something like Don't Go into the House, were some freaky dude dressed in a bio hazard suit walks in to a protective cell and melts her face off.

A telephone rings.

Freaky dude picks it up.

FREAKY DUDE - I'll be right there.

He takes off some of the protective gear, throws it into a bag, and walks out of the dingy basement.

Up stares is some lady chain smoking and playing solitaire on the computer.

FREAKY DUDE - I got a job, be back latter.

SOLITAIRE - Umm Hmm.

Freaky Dude walks outside, he is in the suburbs.

An older neighborhood of blue collar track housing.

He gets in his blue pickup.

On the door is the decal sign, COALMAN'S SWIMMING POOL SCRUBBINS! 555-222-1138.

He is driving through the burbs.

Chemicals marked solution A and Solution B rattle around the bed of the truck.

He passes a lot of backyard pools.

He glares at the happy wonderful people enjoying life and the summer.

opening titles play over this driving sequence.

MC MANSION

We are at one of those pop up out of the ground estates, brick and high iron gate surrounding the premises.

On the back grounds is a swimming pool with perfect still water,

...to be continued.

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