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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

10 Quick Rules for CVM

1. clowns are made to wear surgical masks over their faces when working around monkeys to help prevent the spread of the clown enzyme that the clown nose creates.

2. monkeys carry these sterile masks with them wherever they go. And are handing them out to clowns at all times.

3. Clown suits are sort of like biohazard suits, meant to contain the clown sickness.

4. Some clowns refuse to wear the masks, especially after they got into the "dark funny" stage, and these clowns are punished. It is seen as a threat to society to even hint at infecting a monkey.

5. There are sleeper cells of clowns that plot on infecting huge groups of monkeys. They of coarse are executed in severe spectacles of violence and death.

6. If a clown chops off a monkey's hand and makes a wish on it while it is still twitching, that clown's wish will come true.

7. If your monkey baby becomes infected and turns into a clown baby, and you want to donate the baby to the search for the cure of "clowness" there are baby clown drop boxes all over the city. Scientist monkeys will collect your baby clown and use their DNA to help find an antidote.

8. Clown are all about the funny, but secretly are very jealous of other clowns, and every laugh given to another clown is a punch to their face. Insanely competitive with one another and always plotting to out do each other. Professional jealousy.

9. Monkeys all get along just fine except when they are teenagers and looking for dates, then there is a lot of beating chests and snarling, but it never gets "throw down" violent.

10. A drunken monkey is one pathetic site to behold. All that repression just spews out in a geyser of bitterness.

11. bonus - a popular dish for monkeys eating out are anthills on a platter. It is like a fondue type thing.

sD

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