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Sunday, September 27, 2015

Don't Mention the Toupee

Scooping grave dirt with hands the size of platters, Raymond the Ghoul dug for his dinner. The full moon lit this nightly ritual, and the ground gave easily as a fresh corpse had been planted earlier that day.

Under the moon’s silver light, Raymond could now see his skullish features reflected off the uncovered polished wooden casket. He wasn’t a bad looking monster, in fact his mom used to call him cute, but Raymond had never been happy with himself.

Opening the casket was a cinch with hands and strength such as Raymond’s. His body nothing but exposed bone, vein, and sinew. All protein diet. His stomach rumbling now. You learn to appreciate the tang of formaldehyde. Eventually you crave it.

The tender body lay before him. Rumble. An old grey man in a well-tailored suit. What strength his flesh would give him. How his bones would crunch under his teeth, how his… what is this? Such a magnificent thatch of brown upon his waxen wrinkled head!

Raymond returned to the underworld with a full belly and a polyester mane perched on his bony brow. The gremlins and goblins would snicker, but Raymond walked too high to hear.


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