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Monday, May 21, 2012

Ten Reasons You Have to See... THE CRIMSON CULT!

1. Barbara Steele taken to the next level. She's painted green man! Now euro-thriller and Trekkers can come together and start a weird little village with a bronze statue of Babs in the center of town. The war is over! She is barely in the movie but five minutes of green Babs is better then none.
bwahahahaha... check please

2. Boris Karloff was still making movies in the late 60's, but the man was down to one lung and he has these dark circles under his eyes that are not make up. BUT! The man, even with one lung, has power, and gravitas, and it's freaking Frankenstein's monster! And he loves him some fine brandy.

3. Christopher Lee to me is the most confident evil guy you will ever see. His heart rate never rises. Even when on fire he doesn't break a sweat. You can say whatever about your Clint Eastwoods or Chuck Norrisises, Chris Lee doesn't even notice your pathetic laughable attempts to stop his evil plans. He just doesn't care. To Chris Lee, the movie is already over and you are already dead, and you died crying.

4. Michael Gough, or Alfred from Batman, I see now why Tim Burton cast him. He is awesome. Okay, everyone is awesome in this. It's British. They act circles around us. Maybe it's the accent. I don't know. All I know is that Gough plays a stuttering man child, and I am a sucker for a good man child character.

5. Why does this movie look so good? The colors are vibrant and sharp. It looks as fresh as the day it came out. Most of these MGM archive films look too good. Why do low budget movies now have to look so crappy? It's pretty, you should see it. Great day for night shots. I miss day for night shots.

6. Crazy Mod brits throwing randy parties and painting themselves while drinking champagne off dancing girls. I kept expecting the Benny Hill music to crank up.

7. Our hero is an antiques dealer by day, player by night. He forces himself on some chick. It's kinda sad to watch. Creepy too. I think the girl just goes along with it because she's scared he might punch her.

8. Very simple plot, movies used to be more straight forward. Now everything is a twist wrapped in a gotchya! This is a nice little movie about warlocks and Goat Masks.

9. We have two movies going on here, one awesome witch cult movie with a green Barbara Steele and mind control and people wearing animal masks. The other is something about looking for a lost candle stick and drinking brandy. The main character is trapped in a ho hum movie, and then falls asleep and is whisked away into an AWESOME movie. It just doesn't happen often enough.

10. How does it end? It doesn't. Dumb ending with Chris Lee lost on the roof. It's better if you make cat noises for him.

SHOW STOPPER! - The technicolor lamp shade of EVIL!!!!


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