Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Reel Life (cliche)

So after all that I still have three hours to cut. It's in the computer and sitting there waiting for me to chop it up and rearrange it, but of coarse a little real life has intruded into my hermetically sealed fantasy world and I have to address these issues. Crap. This is the most challenging thing about making a film, or doing anything worthwhile, and anyone will agree with me on this, the persistent encroachment of external reality. Why won't it just go away! No matter what I do to block it out, it creeps back in through the cracks in the window, under the door jams, wherever it can get a foot hold. Give reality an inch, it takes a foot, then it crams it up your ass.

So these days I am packing up the house and moving to another house down the road. No matter how much I stare at my belongings they don't disappear or pack themselves, so I guess I will have to deal with them. Bummer. And then I go,"Great! I'll simplify my life!" But it doesn't work like that see. I see every emotional connection to every scrap of paper and every illegible post-it. Every VHS tape, every cassette, every book, comic, whatever, it all seems too important to throw out. I have so much trash that means too much to me. I envy the Buddhist on the hill that has nothing and wants nothing. I suffer greed and envy all at once. Is this rambling entry procrastination to keep from packing? Sure is.

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