Day 10 Dec

Went to bed right after work yesterday, it was cold in the shed and made me tired. Achy bones.

Missed writing yesterday because of it and did not get any editing done.

The nice thing about not being a professional is that I can go to bed when I want to.

Today is Friday, and I am getting off early today, so the plan is:

1. Get off at 1.

2. Drive to Starbucks and get a venti cold brew.

3. Come home and:

        - add Shot of the phone

        - add Jason's voice for the phone

        - add ambient room noise back into the movie.

Saturday will be dedicated to putting sound effects into the movie.

Sunday will be dedicated to color correction.

And that will be the weekend. I don't want to be on the computer all weekend.

I did promise Cameron that we would walk to the pizza place for lunch one day, prob Saturday.

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

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Day 8 December

Last night my parents showed up and Julie and Sal showed up, and Austin, Emily, and Jon Dean showed up, and we all watched Sarah be the concertmaster for her orchestras Christmas concert. She looked very grown and I can't believe this is the same person who a few years ago was racing imaginary creatures all over the house.

Cameron said he is addicted to sweet tea. He is excited because I told him we can walk to the Peace, Love, and Pizza this weekend for lunch.

I bought some presents through Amazon.

Abbie has a new friend who comes over and they play together on the trampoline.

I did not get any writing or editing done last night due to the concert, so I have some catching up to do the next couple of days.

Steph had a really good client yesterday. 

I had a technical call at work that I figured out beforehand, so the call went very smoothly. Praise God!

Paul told my parents that after narrowly surviving covid, that every day is good and feels like an extra day. I also have lived longer than two of my friends, so it does feel to me that also that every day I have is like a bonus. 

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

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Day 7 December

I am awake. But. It really takes me four hours to really wake up.

It's going to be a good day. Abbie is off to school. Sarah is stirring. Cameron is still asleep.

I talked to friend yesterday about project. We have a lot to do if we want to make it by 12/21.

I'm getting rid of the on-call phone today so will have some more time to work on it.

- Ambient noise

- Sound effects

- music

- mix

- color correct

- sub-titles

- end credits

- render

Perhaps we can get this done by Sunday the 19th.

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

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Day 6 Dec

Up with the kids. 

Abbie is off to school. Cameron and Sarah are up and getting ready.

We are all just groggy.

Cameron said that he woke up happy because last night he wrote a great letter requesting public transportation in Woodstock. He is tired of being stuck at home all day. It was empowering to him to write this letter, and he did a great job. He is a very good writer. I am proud of him.

Sarah has a concert tomorrow where she will be the concertmaster. She is nervous. I am proud that she gets herself in these positions.

Tonight is my last night on pager, so I can't wait to shed this thing tomorrow after work.

I need this coffee to start working, ASAP.

BTW, here is Cameron's letter:

Dear Mayor Henriques,

I would really like it if there were some public transportation in our great city. I'm talking about public busses. I think it would be a great thing if we had a few busses to go around stopping by each neighborhood in the town and taking passengers to their recommended destination. The busses will also take them to other cities like Roswell or Atlanta. The public transportation idea is something you really need to pass as policy for them, me, and you.

The people of Woodstock would like it because some people don't want to or can't drive in this town. It would also be really helpful for the environment if we had public transportation. It is also relaxing on busses not having to focus on the road all the time. You can listen to music or relax your head on the bus. It will also clear up traffic because people won't be stuck in cars all day. You also don't need to stop for gas on the bus. It will even get people to work faster so no one is late. Kids could go places because they can't drive. If an emergency happens and you need to get somewhere quickly, public transportation could save lives. So give what the people of this city want right now.

I would like it because I would like to go places. I am thirteen and I'm tired of being stuck in my house all day. My house is in the Southlands which is isolated from the city. I would really like to go to the store by myself. I could also make new friends if I was able to move around the town. I would like to go to places like downtown Woodstock and Atlanta. There I would make social gatherings to help solve social problems. My activism could change the world if I had a chance to get there. So give me what I really want for this town.

You would really like it because it could make the economy of Woodstock greater. I suspect that you want the economy for Woodstock to thrive and if we had public transportation the tax coffers will be fuller than ever before and the city will rise in its GDP. So if you want economic prosperity in your city then give us what we want right now, which is public transportation.

Sincerely, 

Cameron Joseph Conkle

Way to go, m'boy!

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

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Day 5, Dec

Hey there, planet.

Not much on my mind right now. Just chilling on a Sunday. 

Abbie and Steph have gone out to the Girl Scouts. Today they are singing Christmas Carols at the retirement home. 

Cameron is watching YouTube. Sarah is lurking around.

I sent my friend a rendered version of the project and he likes what I did with it. So much sound work is still to be done on it. And color correction. And sub-titles. We want it all done by the 21st.

We took the kids to church this morning, minus Sarah, she is of age to decide whether or not she wants to go.

Something is up. I am feeling very emotional today. I need to write 6 pages to get back on track for the December writing project. Going to do that and go back to bed. I should put up Christmas lights, but not sure if that is going to happen.

First I need to write something.

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

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December D4

Waiting for the coffee to brew. That's when I write these little things.

Went to bed early and slept in. Now I feel drugged and sluggish. What is up with that. Looks like a trip to Starbucks is going to happen, despite the fact that I have coffee brewing. It won't be strong enough.

I worked on the video project yesterday. I'm going to render today to give the friend a copy to work on the music for it. The donated tracks we have don't jive with the footage. Friend is going to work on it on his machine.

I really just want to go back to bed. My head is swimmy. I just need to lay this all down and reset today.

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

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Day Three Dry Spell

Day three of restarting this blog and already I am out of stuff to write about.

Taking the day off from my day job to sit down and focus on an editing project I am doing for a friend. It is all sound design stuff, which is not my strong suit, but the friend just wants something presentable to put on YouTube, so it doesn't have to be perfect. I am using it as an opportunity to try out the new tools on Premiere. So much has improved in the decade-plus since I last upgraded. Premiere can do all sorts of stuff these days. 

I should have gone legit years ago, but you know how scarcity thinking makes you cling to stuff. Why buy a new one when I got this old thing that is working almost fine? The truth is, it was not fine. My CS3 version of Premiere was ridiculously buggy and would crash constantly. I almost never get a crash with the new version. 

I hope to get at least half the sound done today.

What I have to do.

- Level set the dialogue.

- Add music

- smooth out the rough changes in ambient noise.

- add some sound effects.

- Mix the tracks.

- Add subtitles in scenes where I had to scrap all the sound.

- Color Correct

- Add end titles.

The deadline is to have it up on 12/21, so I need to give him the file on 12/20. That gives me 17 days. I would like to spend one full day on each of these steps, except for end titles. because those will be quick. Just a simple scroll.

FIGHT EVIL

Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

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Day 2 of Project December

Went out with Cameron last night to pick up some coffee and sandwiches for dinner.

Cameron wants to start a small business selling torches and pitchforks to protesters. 

He asked me if that was a good idea.

I told him no. It was too old-timey. Those are chasing Frankenstein supplies. These days you need a cell phone and picket sign to protest. He needs to get with the times. He could sell picket signs. 

But Cameron is stuck in the middle ages. He is fixated on giving the protesters torches and pitchforks. You can't convince him otherwise.

Drank a cold brew at about 7 pm so that was a mistake. 

Sarah and I stayed up talking about our Spotify accounts and comparing music tastes. Spotify has this year-end wrap-up where it tells you your top genres and artists, most played song, your stats.

Sarah is really into a genre called Midwest Emo. Emo is her number one genre. It sounds like punk to me. 

We laughed because my number one genre was Gospel. My top three favorite artists were all in their 70s.  Shirley Ceaser was my number 1 artist. 

Before this year, Sarah was really into 21 Pilots. I was really into techno and EDM, along with my usual 80s and 90s punk, alt, industrial, and soundtracks.

But now I got the spirit! And I loves me some old-timey church music.

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

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December Begins!

Let us see for how long I can write a blog a day.

Today was the deadline for my November script, which is only half-finished. So I am going to set it aside and work on an editing project for the next 20 days and pick it back up after Christmas.

The goal of writing a script every month is still lingering out there, but I have yet to develop the disciple required to hit that goal. I want to be like Larry Cohen who wrote prolifically and with apparent ease.

My goal is to write something as good as It's Alive.

It's good to have goals again. I fought depression back in 2021, after a long battle that started in 2019 the moment I finished Clown Versus Monkey. I was pretty much finished after that and was rudderless for a while.

This was one of the longest periods I'd experienced. And I can tell you it only ended after what I can only describe as divine intervention.

During this period I had resigned myself to putting filmmaking aside and just enjoying life. But that felt horrible and the antidepressant made me a tranquil zombie.

I know it has been a tough two years for a lot of us. I lost a best friend to Covid, almost last my father in law. I know people have lost jobs and livelihoods and hope. The world was turned upside down due to the pandemic.

I've had it pretty good considering what everyone else has been experiencing. Depression made me blind to it all. All I felt was numbness for days, weeks, and months, 

The funny thing was the antidepressant took away the anxiety and replaced it with a dull peace that felt worse. I missed the anxiety once it was gone. I had this giant hole that it used to fill and I couldn't find something as interesting to replace it.

So I took myself off the pills, hoping to start feeling again, and I did, but in a new way.

I've been veering between agnostic/atheist, depending on my mood, for the last decade or so.

But not anymore. I now attend the church of gospel music. It is something I remember my late father doing. It is a clandestine congregation. I attend it every morning in my headphones. The message in the music is so positive and full of hope, that it has made a difference in me. I feel healed of the depression and anxiety that has plagued me my entire life.

I don't know if I believe all the ins and outs of Christian Theology, but that doesn't seem to matter to God. He is saving me every day regardless of what I think of him.

This is more personal than I usually write about, but I needed to put something down, so there it is.

 

Let's see if I write more tomorrow.

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

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Things Cameron Thinks Should be Banned in Georgia

My son has very specific opinions about what should be illegal in GA.

1. Smoking

2. Ballpoint Pens

3. Non Model T cars

4. Shorts and T-shirts

5. High Fructose Corn Syrup

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

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Things to Do

there are things

that I want to do

but the sludge of the day 

attaches to me

and slows me down

weighs me down

makes me so tired

to just move

and interactions

become heavy

and forced

and the day

drags on empty

and endless

and in the end

I am waiting

to fall asleep

so I won't have to feel 

this way

the heavy emptiness

but with a few rituals

I can turn it around

take control

no longer in the passenger seat

I take the wheel

and steer

and put on a pot of coffee

shower

shave

brush my teeth

and sit to write

and it is this that frees me

and I can finally feel at home

I have so much to rewrite

so much to knock out

I  have scripts to write

and all manner of frivolous 

thoughts to have

it is the luxury of frivolous thoughts

I used to feel ashamed

of wasting my time

with this

vanity

but now

I spend so much time dealing with other's

perplexing needs

that I do not even need to worry about it

giving myself a break

from the necessary and urgent

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

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Beast Man

I wake

hungry for blood

so I put on coffee

I hear

the call of the hunt

so I log in

I crave

a feast of meat

so I crunch on a pop tart

I vanquish

my sworn enemies

by writing snide emails.

I dominate

the village

by getting in the check out lane before them

I listen

to the oracles

by binging Netflix

I bellow

a primal scream

when the internet dies

I ravish

my woman

with kissy emoji texts.

Beast Man

sleeps now

on memory foam pillow.

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

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This Just In

Shel Frankenstein

world-famous monster

and children's author

destroyed an entire bookstore last week

when someone lit a candle

in the middle of a reading.

Known for his whimsical poetry

and superhuman strength

Shel Frankenstein is currently rampaging the US

on his current book tour,

promoting his latest collection of drawings and poems 

entitled

"Murrrrrr!!!!"

Reviews of the book have been ecstatic, the best of his career.

When reached out to for comment on the latest bookstore kerfluffle, Mr Frankenstein could not be reached, but his PR people assured us that it was all part of the show. Theatrics if you will.

Theatrics or not, 4 people were sent to the hospital last Thursday night. 

None were available for comment.

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

Buy Satanic Killer Chicken Here!

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Yog Sothoth for State Commissioner

Maybe listening to atonal soundscapes is bad for you.

What if you go so deep into a trance and look so far inward that you find something in there that has been sleeping? 

Something alien and other, put there long ago by forces ancient and malevolent. 

What if all this shoegazing took you back into your mind, back down long hallways, and you found a door, and opened it, and woke that other thing up?

Thanks a lot, Norweigion soundscapes.

What if you started acting like an elder god in your day to day life? 

It would be so hard to hold down a job and maintain your relationships. 

You would have to find a whole other group to hang out with. 

That would be rough, 

I would imagine you would be insufferable.

Maybe limit the shoegaze soundscapes to a few minutes a day.  

Maybe living in a trance opens you up to all sorts of dormant forces in your head that need to stay asleep.  

What if one of those alien beasts woke up and demanded you start running for political office so the reign of the elders could begin once again? 

What if you didn't win? 

How disappointed would Yog Sothoth be?

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

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Turtle Trap

Dark turtles

emerge from a stream

and they snap

at people

running past

a tortoise and hare situation

how to get those wonderful toes

off those

in the zone

and maintaining maximum heart rate

Best to lay a trap

strategize

maybe a decoy

make an imitation

to lure them in

Made of sticks and mud

she sat by the path

nursing a broken ankle

of mud and leaves

it didn't take long

the humans

so eager to show compassion

walked right into

the turtle trap

a quick hit to the back of the head

they are down

when they awaken

it will be months to learn to run again with no toes

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

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Unidentifiable Remains

I can't sleep,

so I wander.

Leave the house,

walk the block.

Looking for distractions.

One night, I found one.

Dead animal,

not a possum,

dog, or cat.

No idea what it was.

Brought it home,

put it on the kitchen table,

careful not to wake the fam.

Had to find out what it was.

I took to the internets.

Three eyes should have been a clue.

Nothing on the net with three eyes

No mammal, insect.

Nothing this size

with extended mandibles

More research

gave me no more.

Who can I call?

This may be a new species.

Then I heard it

Scratching at the door,

the front,

so faint,

you would have missed it.

And a whimper.

This was unlike a dog's whimper.

It had a guttural reverb

like several mouths letting it out

with one breath.

I stood by the door and listened.

Eventually, this whimpering thing

lost patience

and pawed at the door harder.

I heard deep grooves 

digging into the wood.

I turned on the porch light

but t was out of site

from the window.

I could only hear it.

And then it started banging into the door, 

The house shook.

The thing howled now.

A terrible sound.

Now I knew it had come for the dead thing.

I knew it would bash through the door to get it.

My back door.

I checked, coast clear.

I tossed the dead onto the porch,

slammed the door.

Moments later I could hear the other.

It cried.

Almost human,

like a baby

I lay against the door

listening.

When I woke up,

my kid was watching TV.

I had fallen asleep on the floor.

Kid didn't seem to notice.

I opened the back door.

Nothing.

The dead thing, gone,

a trail of blood slid off the porch.

I followed it into the back yard

where it disappeared under the pines.

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

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BEHEMOTH: Scene 10 - I'm Big Shot

INT. REC CENTER - RING - NIGHT

Bigs turns just in time to see it wreck into his face, sounds like a car crash.

The crowd winces. 

The chair dents in. Bigs' face dents in, and down he goes.

Big Shot over him, smashing him down more and more, warping the chair, warping Bigs, blood splatting on the ring, the crowd booing,  completely off team Big Shot.

RINGSIDE 

Gore Man is flipping out!

GORE MAN

Stop it! Stop it, you idiot!

Big Shot stops, and now sees, the chair covered in blood, a pool soaking into the mat.  

Bubbling up through Bigs' ruined face.

And the crowd hates him. for the first time in his Big Shot's career, he is no longer a face, and they hate him.

Gore Man is not happy about that.

GORE MAN

Look at this,  look at what you've done. I can't sell this. I can't spin this. You're a goddamn psycho, probably going to jail. Which makes this...

Gore Man happens to have a copy of the contract in his jacket which he pulls out and tears in half.

GORE MAN

worthless.

BIG SHOT

But, I'm Big Shot?

GORE MAN

Not anymore.

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

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TMI: 4 to 10

Thinking about what happened. I want to explore this.  Time, and life and where these things go. Where do my memories hide? Where was I when there are no memories of what had happened during the day.

I was off at 4:30. I went to bed at 10. What happened in between those times? I made a sandwich. Cooked dinner.  That didn’t take 5 and a half hours. So where did they go?

Wait. I remember

I took Sarah to Starbucks and got an iced coffee. She got an iced tea. We ended up sitting in the car talking for an hour.

That was the bid deal yesterday. When your kids get older, they separate from you. The conversations become less encompassing. They used to tell you everything, every dream and fear. Every single random thought that popped into their heads. Then one day they stop, and it all becomes polite. They stick to safe subjects.

I know Sarah carries a lot on her shoulders. All A student and color guard and role model to her brother and sister. Always patient and never complains. So where does IT go? She gets headaches and stomachaches.  Thank God she keeps a journal. All those stresses need to go somewhere.

We talked about anxiety, depression, mania, my three amigos. I told her that she had won the genetic jackpot and if she ever needs to talk to someone, better to do that than suffer in silence.

So that was where the hours went. I just had to sit calmly for a moment for it to come back. 

Oh, that was something else I told her. 

When you get older, being alone and still with your thoughts is too terrifying for people. They would do anything to prevent it from happening. Whole chunks of the economy are based on keeping yourself away from yourself.

Just your typical father-daughter chat.

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

Buy Satanic Killer Chicken Here!

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