Beast Man

I wake

hungry for blood

so I put on coffee

I hear

the call of the hunt

so I log in

I crave

a feast of meat

so I crunch on a pop tart

I vanquish

my sworn enemies

by writing snide emails.

I dominate

the village

by getting in the check out lane before them

I listen

to the oracles

by binging Netflix

I bellow

a primal scream

when the internet dies

I ravish

my woman

with kissy emoji texts.

Beast Man

sleeps now

on memory foam pillow.

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

Buy Satanic Killer Chicken Here!

Watch Short Films Here!

This Just In

Shel Frankenstein

world-famous monster

and children's author

destroyed an entire bookstore last week

when someone lit a candle

in the middle of a reading.

Known for his whimsical poetry

and superhuman strength

Shel Frankenstein is currently rampaging the US

on his current book tour,

promoting his latest collection of drawings and poems 

entitled

"Murrrrrr!!!!"

Reviews of the book have been ecstatic, the best of his career.

When reached out to for comment on the latest bookstore kerfluffle, Mr Frankenstein could not be reached, but his PR people assured us that it was all part of the show. Theatrics if you will.

Theatrics or not, 4 people were sent to the hospital last Thursday night. 

None were available for comment.

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

Buy Satanic Killer Chicken Here!

Watch Short Films Here!

Yog Sothoth for State Commissioner

Maybe listening to atonal soundscapes is bad for you.

What if you go so deep into a trance and look so far inward that you find something in there that has been sleeping? 

Something alien and other, put there long ago by forces ancient and malevolent. 

What if all this shoegazing took you back into your mind, back down long hallways, and you found a door, and opened it, and woke that other thing up?

Thanks a lot, Norweigion soundscapes.

What if you started acting like an elder god in your day to day life? 

It would be so hard to hold down a job and maintain your relationships. 

You would have to find a whole other group to hang out with. 

That would be rough, 

I would imagine you would be insufferable.

Maybe limit the shoegaze soundscapes to a few minutes a day.  

Maybe living in a trance opens you up to all sorts of dormant forces in your head that need to stay asleep.  

What if one of those alien beasts woke up and demanded you start running for political office so the reign of the elders could begin once again? 

What if you didn't win? 

How disappointed would Yog Sothoth be?

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

Buy Satanic Killer Chicken Here!

Watch Short Films Here!