Ten Rambling Reasons to See JIGSAW (2017)

Not in the movie.

Ten whole reasons?!? This may be tough, but here we go.

1. No better or worse then the rest of the Saw movies. If you liked the others, you'll like this one. If you are like me, and are baffled by the fact that you keep paying to go see them, even though you never walk out thinking that they are any good, this movie will give you that old Saw feeling.

2. Such a lost opportunity. The last Saw was seven years ago. Before that, the Saw machine cranked one out every year, year after year, from 2004 to 2010. It was a juggernaut, but by cranking them out so fast they never stopped to catch their breath to figure out what was working or not. They became the same four scenes played at random, for 90 minutes, repeated once a year. The four scenes are.

- Police Procedural (Look Scoob, I found a clue!)
- 10 Angry Men in a Factory (Let's stop fighting and start working together!)
- Jigsaw sulking in his lab (Uhhhh, metal shop rules)
- The Traps (why you bought the ticket)

This movie does nothing to change that formula.

3. Because it is so familiar, it felt like putting on some nice old shoes. Or getting hash browns at Waffle House. I got what I paid for. It had been a while, so it was nostalgic. Being let down by a Saw movie is part of the experience.

4. Lost opportunity, because by taking a break, they could have deconstructed these movies and figured out a way to give us something that hit the Saw notes, but subverted our expectations. We all know how these things work by now. By throwing us some curve balls, they could have given us, the constant viewers, something fun. But they made just another Saw movie.

5. I was happy to see Costas Mandylor gone, but they found the most Mandylorian(?) guy they could to fill the spot.

6. Evil morgue girl was great.

7. Unintentional Funny Moment One: Jigsaw, "A young man died because you sold him a motorcycle with no breaks. That young man was my nephew."

8.   Unintentional Funny Moment Two: In a room with cement walls, a character bumps into the wall and it visibly shakes. It's an Ed Wood moment.

9. Unintentional Funny Moment Three: The lady with postpartum depression is played in the most hamfisted after school special manner possible.

10. The acting in the "10 Angry Men in a Factory" scenes are "Unsolved Mysteries" reenactment level awesomeness. Some of the greatest reenacting I have seen all year. Worth watching, very powerful. Bulging Eyeballs, furrowed brows, yelling and spitting, acting like a rabid baboons. Fantastic.

Bottom Line. You waited 7 years. You hired the Spierig Brothers. You could have done something to freshen up before inviting us over. Cooked us something new instead of reheating last weeks leftovers. I don't blame the directors on this one. They consistently give us strong movies, but if you have seen any of the behind the feature docs on the other Saw movies, you know they crank these out in a way not conducive the creative thinking. The train is rolling, you have two weeks to get this thing shot. No time to think. Shoot as fast as you can and just survive it.

Bottom Line Two: All my complaints are the same that my parents said about Friday the 13th movies. So I fully accept that this is generational thing, and that it is now my time to be the angry guy. The only difference is that F13 movies are awesome, and Saw movies are stupid.

Bottom Line Three: Glad I went. It feels like Halloween when you go see a Saw movie. It's traditional. Never as good as it could be, but that's all part of it.

One more funny moment! These movies are known for their crazy kills. Drowning in corn may be the scariest thing ever put in a movie. Nothing ups the suspense like corn.

CORN! CORN! CORN!

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

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Ten Rambling Thoughts on Blade Runner 2049 (2017)

1. Do we need a Blade Runner sequel? Oh God, no. After all these years, can't us fans have this little bit of perfection. Do they have to go whoring out our lone shining star to squeeze some last drops of profit from her old bones? Of course they do. That's what the machine does, takes what you love, and ruins it. When I heard they were going ahead with a Blade Runner 2, and Harrison Ford signed on, with Ridley Scott (at the time) directing, my reaction was...

... but they didn't listen to my Facebook cover photo, and they went about their filthy business.

2. I'm so glad they did! Mostly. I am mostly, like 70% glad they did. In fact, I was so giddy during the first 30 minutes that all my angst was forgotten and I was swimming in sci-fi heaven. I'll try to keep this all spoiler free and focus on the positive.

3. So great to be back in Blade Runner land, and to see that world opened up and moved around in, seen from new angles and expanded. Who makes the memories for the replicants? What do other parts outside of Los Angeles look like? This movie digs in and gives you primo, fully licensed, authentic Blade Runner, crafted with care, love, and attention. The details are all here: the rain streaks on the windshields, the back lit misty miniatures, Off World Advertisements, big empty abandoned  buildings. You are back in that world, and it feels so good. 

4. The sound track. Been listening to it since I left the theater. Moody and synthy. In the theater, hearing those synths bounce around in 5.1 full dynamic perfection, with those amazing visuals, worth the price of admission.

5. Harrison Ford in his 70s and finally used as he should be. He's not dressing up like his 20 year old self. He reminded me of a Frank Miller creation. Old Bruce Wayne. He was right in this. Got to hold the old blade runner gun and be grumpy old man. Throw some punches. Finish up some unfinished business.

6. Ryan Gosling was really good in this too. His character goes on a crazy ride, and lots of twists and turns. When he finally looses it, and flips out, I was totally on his side.

7. This movie is like Prometheus in that it gives you the stuff that you wanted, but not in the exact way you were expecting it. A lot of Blade Runner is revisited in this, but flipped, so your expectations are being met and diverted.  We have Pris images, but it is not just Pris done over. It's just the same world, so there are echos of the first one. We have a zoom in, enhance scene, but it's not the SAME scene done again with better effects. It's not Tron Legacy. There is a different story being told here.

8.  I love these late sequels. Kinda like Psycho 2. It makes them special. Give a movie 20 - 30 years to rumble around in your head and then give me something new to chew on. Like Fury Road, did I think Fury Road was needed, no. But Miller killed it. Denis Villeneuve killed it here. Blade Runner has been in our heads so long. The years give weight and connection to these movies. Your relationship becomes more complicated, and then to go back and visit them, to see what they've been up to, it's more of a life event then just another movie. It's like a reunion. But do I want Fury Road 2? NO! Do I want Blade Runner 3? NO! You guys got lucky. Do I want a new Blade Runner movie every year now, and a tv series, and 20 podcasts rambling on and on about it until I die. No I do not. Can't somethings be special, as in rare. 

9. So here is the big problem with Blade Runner 2049. With all it's world building, it is trying to set up a story that is too big for one movie. We can't just have one self contained thing now. it has to be part of a bigger monster. It's the dark side of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It makes for great movies moments, but bad stories. This lays the ground work for a bigger sequel, but in doing so leaves out the ending, the point, the feeling that I saw not a movie, but an ad for the main event. Give me some feeling of closure. Ryan G's story is great, and I felt a good wrap up with him, but the fact that good and evil never really come to clash. That the big villain is never challenged in any real way. Is never given his comeuppance, or even humiliated or cut down an inch was very frustrating. Don't worry, he'll get his in the sequel. The sequel!?! I want to see him slapped around now! I want some catharsis! Leto is so creepy in this, and has a sick scene of cruel evil, but nothing comes of it. We are planting seeds here for a 3 picture cycle, one every three years, I guess. And the whole question of is Deckard a replicant himself, still ambivalent. Wait for the sequel, maybe we'll get around to that. 

10. So this was like watching a pro gymnast perform an amazing three bar routine, with spins and flips and everything you could want, and then, at the last minute, the gymnast lands funny and snaps their legs with two terrible compound fractures. They scream in pain and the audience winces and the medics rush them off the stage. This movie, so awesome, and then in the last 15 minutes, I got really antsy, about the time when Harrison Ford is tied to a chair and rendered helpless. Did I wait 30 years to see Harrison Ford tied to a chair!?! How are they going to end this? How does this story payoff. It doesn't really. No, it isn't No Country For Old Men frustrating, but the same ballpark. There isn't a "To Be Continued" card, but I felt they pulled some punches to save the conclusion for some future movie that may or may not happen. Boo!!! But up to that point, a great time.

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

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Ten Rambling Reasons to Watch ... CULT OF CHUCKY (2017)

This fan poster rules!

1. Don Mancini! This guy has chops! Directing chops, story chops. For a non theatrical horror release, the seventh in a series, you will be amazed at the sure hand he brings to this. This guy knows Chucky, and knows how to push the series in new directions, but still give the audience what they want from a Child's Play movie. He wrote every film, and it is one of the too rare instances where the show runner actually understands what makes his movies tick with an audience. What if Ridley Scott actually had a clue why people liked Alien? What if Lucas knew why everyone adored the original trilogy? Mancini gets it. 
2. So, I admit I got lost on the series around Bride of Chucky. I was hyped, but let down by the jokey tone of that one. Seed of Chucky? I sort of dug that one because it was so different then what the original was. The difference in style between Child's Play and Seed of Chucky is so black to white that it is fascinating to chart how a series evolves and changes. Mancini started to direct with Seed, and what I like about him is he is very clear on the kind of movie he is making. He goes for it, full speed. Seed isn't my favorite, but resurrecting the series after a 9 year hiatus, and getting the tone back on track with Curse of Chucky, was genius. Good move Universal. Good move Mancini, staying involved to steer the ship. These movies could be garbage, like the Wrong Turn sequels, but instead they are made by a real filmmaker who respects the material and the fans!
3. So Seed was pure silliness, and Curse was a chamber drama, and now we have a psycho sexual thriller. By changing the setting, and the sub-genre, you get so many fun opportunities and situations for Chucky to react to. How does Chucky fair in a situation where he is just one of a dozed unbalanced individuals? Setting this in an asylum makes this very fun. If you are a schizophrenic, and you are used to seeing weirdness everyday, a doll walking around is just a typical Tuesday. Mancini doesn't throw away all this potential and actually milks it for all it's worth. Again, bravo sir.
4. Fiona Dourif makes this work. Her character is fascinating, and she has the talent to anchor the story in real emotion, and confusion. She is a broken person, full of self loathing and angst, trying to make peace with the now. Whatever she has to do to live with herself, to navigate these rapids she is tossed into, she will. She's a survivor, and a great protagonist, and you root for her because she wants to do the right thing, but is against a system that sees her as scum of the earth, and has been so convincing of it that she now believes it herself. Even though she knows it was that little plastic doll, she has put that aside, and submitted to their opinion of her. The world has beat her down. When the killings start again, she is vindicated, but not how you would want to be, she is cursed. To keep it vague and spoiler free, her next chapter is both hopeful and nightmarish at the same time.
5. There are a lot of ideas in this. Why did they bother to make it this good. I am sort of amazed how much I liked this. Sure, I am a fan of the series, but let's face it, horror fans are a beaten down lot. We take in so much terribleness, are taken advantage of again and again, so to see a Part 7 that actually is happy to be there, happy you showed up, and is excited to show you a good time, to continue a story you have invested 29 years into with some unexpected TLC... I'm just not used to being treated so nice, I suppose.
6. The acting in this is pretty great, especially the sympathetic doctor played by Michael Theriault and the always angry patient Grace Lynn Kung. Grace's change from skeptic to believer is very entertaining! And the doctor, no matter how off the rails he goes, you get the feeling that he never thinks of himself as anything but a great guy. By making everyone emotionally fragile, we get great character interactions and tension. What we don't get are stupid cliche asylum images were people are acting cartoonish and banging their heads against the wall or chasing invisible butterflies. Who isn't sick of that? It's insulting to mental patients to use them like horror props. So, I appreciated that they treated them like real people, kinda like the teens in Dream Warriors.
7. Tony Gardner handled the Chucky duties in this, and Chucky's look is a step up from the last one. I really liked how he moved, the puppetry was top notch. Some really great characterization going on here. Old school puppets. They could have CGd the hell out of Chucky, but instead they brought in a master to make it work, some of the shots look like they maybe removed guys in green leotards out of the shot, but that's how it should be used, as tech removal.  Thank you, movie.
8. The story opens up Chucky's powers, but! don't worry, it's really cool. If you are a fan, you are really going to like where this goes. It's not a Resident Evil situation where, oh, now Alice can do anything, and there are 50 of her, so who cares. Cult of Chucky knows how far to push it.
9. THE GORE! SO GOOD! There is a drill to the head that is up there with the great slasher kills. All practical and nasty! Horror movies need to pay attention, to keep it real, to keep it rubber.
10. I didn't even mention the return of Alex Vincent as Andy Barclay! You got a little tease at the end of Curse that he may be back, and lo and behold, here he is! All grown up and actually really good. You know, this is fan service, but it feels good! Continuity feels good! Like all those Fango obsessed years were not a waste! Vindicated! He is cool. What they did with his character is so cool. What happens to one of these slasher movie survivors in a world where you can google their name and get the whole slanted story. Hard to make friends, ya know. He's a recluse, and like Ripley, his life has been so dominated by this unstoppable antagonist, his relationship to Chucky has ripened into a sick love/hate affection.

The Brass Tack: Best Chucky Since The Original.

Closing Thought: Tom Holland went on record that he came up with everything that was cool about the original. If Don Mancini was a hack, he would not have been able to keep these wheels turning for 29 years, and keep reinventing the story and keeping it fresh. His skills as a storyteller has me excited for Part 8! Streets of Chucky? 

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

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