Ramblings @ 1am

Can't sleep.
Pork chop in my teeth.
8 shots of espresso in my brain.
Just laughed at work all night.
Thinking of stupid shit I've done over the years.
There are these two AM freak out that happens.
Something horrible shoots into your head and you slap your forehead and go
SHIT! What an idiot!
It happens.
I'm really freaking about this baby.
MORE CHAOS!
It's good. I was starting to get complacent.
Nothing freaky or scary going on right now.
No movie to finish.
But I still need to sell it, but
not staying up all night right now to finish it.
Just working on ideas.
Collaborating with Chad on somethings, seeing what sticks.
GOt a bunch of sharpie markers for b-day and feel really youthenized
by them. Love them. And a blue plastic thing to put drawings in.
THis is the current fixation. Markers and cheap paper.
THe word of the day was emmerse.
Emmerse in the moment.
Freaked out a bit at the day job when I lost a notebook.
This really pisses me off and everyone was like, uh-oh, now he's going to be
off the whole day. HA! And I was. I accused them of taking it without doing so.
And they got a kick of it. I call them my Unicorn Diaries and if people ask
me what I write in them I say it's poems about unicorns.
So! I'm pissed that I lost it because these things have important notes on stories and
just musings on life and the baby and family and stresses and I love to go back through
them later and just see what the hell was going through my brain at certain points.
What is trivial now is mind blowing in five years.
I feel like God is trying to talk to me.
I feel like I'm getting perspective.
I want to let go.
I ate a Wendy's number two combo today and almost wanted to puke.
The grease and the cow, man, mustard and juice shooting all over my face.
and the fries there are NEVER good.
Man, I've lost it.
Saw a great flick called the lookout, and was all about Jeff Daniels in the film and thought
damn, if I could act a third of Jeff Danieals, he's brilliant, and then I looked up his filmography, and felt let down that none of his films looked that great. So I don't think I'll become a Jeff Daniels completist.
1:18am we are colaborating on several stoires with Chad right now, with my schedule I really can't Golem over a film like I have in the past. I need to get LOTZ of people involved, so then I have the peace of knowing that even if I'm not obsessing, at least someone else might.

WHY OBSESS AT ALL!?!?! Why not just sort of meander around it and do it as it comes?

My day job is wack. I really do just sort of, meander through it. Why not just apply that to other things.

Post its.

I should read more. Blah blah blah.

PS -I have a runny rash, poison ivy or something on my arm, I get this often, it is gross, and the calomine lotion makes it pink and matted. I feel like I'm walking around with snot on my are all day.

PSS- It would be easy to do a cartoon now, even without flash, just with premiere and some low end programs, you could do something really neat.

PSSS - I love the hysterical Britney fan video. HAR HAR.

PSSSS - I still have some screeners to send out of the movie. SO SLOW ABOUT THIS. It's the having to - wah.

PSSSSS - off of the night job tomorrow, early day, will beable to chill with fam, play with sarah. Eating at Italian joint that night. Life is good. Marring a large Italian family was the best thing ever. I can be quiet and just let them be crazy and loud, while in the world, I'm the crazy one. At home I can just be sane, and everyone is cool with that. That is home. Where you feel like you don't have to be a maniac, and specticle isn't rewarded, and it is enough to be kind.