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Sunday, August 13, 2017

Slasherama! Ten Ramblings on Graduation Day (1981)


Synopsis: Someone is killing the high school track team. But who?!?

1. I had the most amazing babysitter in 1981. While I tried to be cool with my best Fonzie impression, she would tell me about the latest horror film she saw. She would show me the add in the paper and my imagination created the "Most Amazing Movie" in my head. She told me about The Howling and Happy Birthday To Me, and became my prototypical cool girl. During this blood soaked slasher cycle of '81, on the weekend before Friday the 13th Part 2 was released, Graduation Day hit the screens.

2. So many good movies came out this year, check out the riches below:
  •  January - Scanners (the poster is on my phone case)
  •  March - The Funhouse
  •  April - The Howling, The Hand, Friday the 13th Part 2
  •  May - Happy Birthday To Me, Outland
  •  June - Clash of the Titans, Dragon Slayer
  •  July - Escape From New York (the greatest), Wolfen
  •  August - Student Bodies, Deadly Blessing, American Werewolf in London
  •  October - Halloween 2, Looker
  •  November - Time Bandits, Dead and Buried, Roadgames (Jamie Lee Curtis horror)
  •  December - Ghost Story, Neighbors, Sharky's Machine
I had this pic hanging in my cube for years.
2. Star Christopher George jumped from one low budget slasher to the next in the 70s and 80s until his death in 1983. Former western and Mission: Impossible star, he was THE face of adult authority in these movies. He played the same hard as nails asshole in all of them. There must have been some massive alimony agreement somewhere to inspire his muse. The man was not afraid of slashers, and not afraid to cash a check.


Graduation Day 1981
Pieces 1982
Mortuary 1983
3. This has an early appearance by Linnea Quigley. She already looks haunted to me. Here is how cheap this movie is. The actress who plays the feisty blonde on the team had shot some scenes before being fired for refusing to take off her clothes. Do they replace her and reshoot her scenes with a new actress? Almost. They fire her, replace her with Linnea (who is always naked), but do not reshoot the the scenes she was already in. So we get a Bewitched Darrin situation. When Linnea is decapitated in the movie, it is not her head we see later in the obligatory "all the dead bodies fall out of trees all at once" grande finale.

Blonde Girl 1.

Blonde Girl Switch Out, Linnea.

Back to Girl 1. We will reshoot NOTHING!


  4. The killer wears sweats in this. Maybe appropriate considering he's picking off members of the track team one by one, but obviously a sign of deep depression.

I wasn't going to get out of bed today, but whatever.
5.  Speaking of track, one cool thing about the movie is that all the victims are super athletic and lightning fast runners. Seems like they would be able to get away from the killer, or at least make him really have to work for it. Cardio. If they remake this, I say make the stalk scenes more like this.


Or like this...


In my remake, he would have to chase them down with some sort of bone grinder muscle car.

This....

Put on the front of this...


The movie writes itself.

6.  I have to mention the crazy flash cuts in this that are super fun and would never be allowed in a movie today. I heard on the Hysteria Lives Podcast an interview with the editor who said the director hated them, but he had to use them because the director didn't know what he was doing and wasn't giving him the footage needed to construct the scenes. Sounds like a constructive collaboration! In the end, they give the movie a distinct character. The best example of this takes place during the...

7. ROLLER DISCO!!!!




At the roller disco we get to see awesome band "Felony" jam out some totally rad new wave tunes.

No shame

in my game.

The scene is amazing. So much feathered hair. So many nylon jackets. The remake demands that the meat grinder mobile busts in through the double exit doors and spin donuts in the rink, swallowing up skaters and creating so much gory havoc. That band needs to get eaten up.

8. This movie played on UHF 36 here in Atlanta ALOT. I needed to watch it again because certain scenes were etched in my head as being really gruesome. Now they are pretty silly. But that's what makes them cool.

The highlight is a sword in a football, tossed at the quarterback.

Acting, you're doing it right.
And the pole vaulter landing on a bed of spikes. In broad daylight. During school hours.

Zero Witnesses.

9. Most of the stalking takes place in the park on these long jogging trails. The killer just hangs out and waits for the track stars to come running by. There is a cool Minotaur angle in here somewhere. A labyrinth of trails, a beast stalking its prey. Maybe he wears a bull head for a mask. Maybe the school's mascot is a bull. It writes itself.

Concept Art by Patrick Tatopoulos
10.  What sucks is that now I'm a grown up and I feel bad when I see these kids taken out before they have experienced anything but systematic conditioning under a state ran institution. They are prisoners, being told what to think and do, and that is all they have known. I started thinking about how in the remake (I made my own movie up while watching this), the school should be this fascist totalitarian institution, and the track team is this nationalist symbol of genetic superiority. Like the Nazis and the '36 Olympics. Until the Minotaur driving a Muscle Car Meat Grinder shows up and dismantles the system. Maybe he is a Nazi experiment. The system created him, and now he's going to tear that system DOWN! Graduation Day 5000!!!

Bonus: Denise Cheshire...



This actress went on to play the title role in the best baseball monkey movie ever made...

She was destined for such greatness.

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

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Monday, August 07, 2017

Romero Retrospective: 10 on There's Always Vanilla (1971)



I want to go through all of George A. Romero's feature films and give my ten random thoughts on each, culminating in a best to worst list.  Let's see if that happens. No promises. I have been known to flake.  But there is nobility in failure, that's what I tell myself. I am compelled! He was a personal hero and inspiration, no shocker there, and we the fans have lost one of the great American bad asses of cinema. So to crank this up, let's start with the black sheep in his filmography, one I first watched just a few days ago, the lost Romero gem made right after NOTLD, There's Always Vanilla!

1. You have to let me ramble on about 1971 for a moment. Best year in cinema. I'm calling it. To be a film nut that year meant being spoiled on one awesome movie after the next. Check it, just off the top.

The Incredible Two Headed Transplant
Dracula Vs. Frankenstein
The French Connection
The Corpse Grinders

So much awesome. More then that. I love the way the world looks in 1971 movies. Analog, and mechanical, and empty. Where are all the people? Was there a pandemic I didn't know about? What world does Two Lane Blacktop take place in? I want to go there. 

People looked less polished. Now everyone looks like they are vying for instant internet celebrity. 

1971, I wasn't there, but when I want to escape, I watch anything from 1971. My pet year.

One last thing, cool stuff that happened in 1971.

The Microprocessor was invented (the end of analog)
Charles Manson conviction (the end of the 60's)
Disney World Opened (the end of fun)

Finally, one of my favorite filmmakers made a movie in my favorite year that I hadn't seen yet! Are you kidding. Hard to find... unless you have the YouTubes. Lo and behold!





I jumped in, bracing myself for disappointment. This could be obscure for a reason. I mean, Knightriders, you know what I mean.

2.  You talk junk about horror movies? Horror Directors? You want to dismiss them as hacks who don't stack up to your darling Kubricks and Hitchcocks? Watch this movie and tell me the difference between this and Shadows from Cassevettes or Mean Streets from Scorsesse. Tell me those guys didn't also get stuck in their own movie jails, having to make the same sort of movie again and again. Romero had early success with flesh eaters, but the man who got turned on to filmmaking by The Red Shoes certainly had a bunch of movies in him, and not all of them climaxed in someone being disemboweled.

Choke on them!!! Choke on them!!!

Romero is a hell of a horror director because he is a hell of a filmmaker. Period.  If you like how a filmmaker talks, then you want to listen to them ramble on if it's about zombies or hippies in love. This almost makes me want to give that Craven violin movie a chance.

The recitals of the children give me strength.

3.  Let's talk early Romero. What I love about his movies up to Creepshow is his merciless editing. He hits those scenes, chop - chop -chop, and overlays some random small talk over it, somebody jabbering away, or some tangential conversation, while the rhythm of that edit, chop - chop -chop. I love it so much. You feel that hand and that brain making those choices and going for it. It's frantic and bold. That commercial style he came from, making detergent commercials for years before getting into features grabs you.


I was watching this little regional counter culture flick, and was amazed how slick it was, how different it was.  Compare it to what was coming out of Atlanta around the time.


4. This movie is strong, and it's a shame Romero could never shake the zombie tag. His dead game was too strong! This, Season of the Witch, Knightriders, and Bruiser shows he had other things on his mind. After cramming him info that zombie pit for 40 years, we complained when Survival of the Dead wasn't super inspired? Shame on us. He gave us different stuff, and we tossed it back at him. Had fans gone to see these outlying movies, maybe he would have been given room to breathe. Who knows what he would have made given the chance!?

5.  Our leading lady is Judith Ridley (Judy) from NOTLD, and she is great in this! She must have taken classes in the two years after that one. 

Emote. Emote. Emote
She is a model and aspiring actress in the movie and there are great scenes that take place on commercial sets, in particular a beer commercial. These scenes have a great kinetic energy. Romero cuts the hell out of them!

6.  In these commercial scenes, you can see Russell "Johnny" Streiner from NOTLD. It's the band all back together again. He has shaggy hair and hippy glasses, being a cool director type. It is a riot.

Dig it, Daddy-o.
7. The humor lands on it's feet, especially when the hippy hero gets a job at an advertising agency. They have to come up with slogans to inspire kids to join the army ('Nam) .The actor playing the boss's Yes Man had great timing. I looked him up, and he was a regular for 30 years on Mr. Rodgers' Neighborhood.  He died in 1998. 

His name was Robert Trow. His name was Robert Trow.

Romero worked on Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood. They say Fred Rodgers was the Roger Corman of the Pittsburgh Film Industry. Maybe that calm prosaic demeanor inspired the zombies. Wouldn't it have been awesome to see a zombie invasion on Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood?!


Let's see who's at the door, kids.

AGGGGH!!!

8.  I loved how sparse the apartments are in this. Could be from the budget, but everything looks beaten up and worn down. Loved it. Pittsburgh '71 is my jam!

Future Train!

So bleak!

So oppressive!

So modern!

...

9.  The abortion scene was freaky. Our heroine gets pregnant from the hippy guy, and he's a bum, so she goes to see a twitchy back alley doctor, by way of a scuzzy mob type guy, played by no other than the master of ad-lib, Mr. They're Dead They're All Messed Up himself, George Kosana!

Murrrrr.
It's 1971, abortion was still illegal until '73, so this was in the air, and Romero has never been one to hide his politics. This scene brought to you by Don't Let This Happen To Your Daughter.

10. Overall, this is a cool peak into an alternate bizarro universe where Romero was known for his heartfelt comedic dramas. It's pretty good, and deserves to checked out by the curious, the cult, and those who fixate on 1971.

Bonus: Bill Hinzman, NOTLD Graveyard Zombie also makes a cameo as a barfly. He looks like the Hills Have Eyes guy, the one who left the desert to sell insurance in the city. 

Before.

After.

More Romero Ramblings to come...


FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

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Friday, July 28, 2017

Ten Thoughts on Valerian (2017)

All Pics from this movie were removed by request. Use your imagination.


1. Okay, so I cannot get into Valerian with out first talking about Luc Besson. Le Femme Nikita, awesome. The Professional, mind blowing.  Besson's style was unique and illuminating. He made hard edged action movies with a solid character based core. You felt these movies in your guts, and The Professional was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had at a theater. I can't talk about The Professional without getting into Jayson Hammett, my late friend and movie going compatriot, who was as crazy about movies as I was and who was with me the night I saw The Professional, and then sat with me as I watched it again for the next showing. When the movie came out on VHS, Jayson bought me a copy, complete with the awesome review blurb, "Makes Speed look like a slow ride to Grandma's House".  When we found out that the French cut had an additional hour of footage, Jayson was the first to grab a bootleg from Revok.com. Note: that cut makes some of that creepy subtext in the US cut, not so sub.

The point, Besson was a God to us during those glorious days before THE BIG FALL.


2. THE BIG FALL took place in 1997. I had been working at Riverdale Cinemas, just south of Atlanta, for the past four years. I couldn't escape. The pay was terrible, but working the booth, and the steady stream of free movies and Mountain Dew was too good to leave. There was always some movie two weeks away that I had to stick around for. Building new prints, and screening them on Thursday nights to the gang of coworker friends was glorious. In 1997, the trailer to The Fifth Element hit, and for the Cult of Besson, who believed the Man God could do no wrong, we felt our brains melt from its ultra-rad awesomeness. This was before internet, you knew nothing about these movies before the trailer hit, and your could not watch the trailer whenever you wanted to on your phone. You had to be sitting in the theater, and because I worked there, I drooled over that trailer for months before the movie hit. The movie came out, and that weekend Jayson and I hit the theater for the Sunday night screening. Walking up to the theater we saw fellow movie nut, coworker, and good friend Seth Hancock with his brother Josh walking out into the parking lot, having just seen the last showing. Their eyes were glazed over and they looked sad and confused. "How was it?", I asked. "I don't know", answered Seth, as he and his brother wandered silently back to their car. It was a bad omen. After the movie, Jayson and I sat on the curb and sorted through our broken expectations. We couldn't come to grips with the big sugary dessert Besson had made. We wanted broken hearts and bullet holes in space. It took me 15 years to appreciate The Fifth Element, not until I had seeped in enough real life trouble could I see the value and necessity of that big strawberry intergalactic milkshake.

Location of THE BIG FALL


3. So the trailer for Valerian hit, and I flashed back to 1997. Oh no, not again! Fool me once! I'm older now. Level. Grounded. Besson is no longer the filmmaker I adored in 94, His legacy tarnished green and greasy from 20 years of producing and writing indistinct, boiler plate thrillers like the Transporter and Taken series. Lucy had moments, but could not reconcile its big ideas with its action movie trappings. The Family was terrible. The Messenger was propped up by his reputation but in the end, forgettable. I never saw Angel A, and never wanted to see the Arthur and the Invisible movies. But, Valerian could be something. I knew Besson's brand of sci fi now. I had more realistic expectations. But he said in interviews that he had been planning on making this movie for the last 40 years, and that did not bode well. How can he have any perspective after grooming something for that long. He is such an institution, could there be a Gary Kurtz there to tell him, "Stop it! Stop it!"

4. There was not a Gary Kurtz there to tell him to stop.



5. Luc Besson should not write his own scripts. He should not write other people's scripts. He is a visual guy, and directs polished, efficient movies, but he doesn't make movies about human beings. That scene at the end of The Professional with Leon sending Matilda away down the shoot to safety, and their interaction, the dramatic, emotional weight of that moment, that was Besson at full power, and he just doesn't seem interested in that anymore. You want a hair stylist, Besson is your guy.

6. I know I am not reviewing this movie on its own merits, or at all. Besson's early work made too much of an impact for me to divorce myself from it. I can get through Fifth Element now without getting too angry. I know Valerian is a space fantasy, and I should loosen up and stop throwing up the "Not The Professional" butt hurt nerd flag. I love the genre. I love spectacle. I paid extra to see this in 3D. But this movie has major problems. Fifth Element did some of this better.

7. Watch this movie and tell me who the antagonist is? What are the protagonists doing? Why are they doing it? Are they in any danger? What does this scene have to do with anything? Am I too dumb to see why I should care? I was two hours into the movie, checking the time on my phone, wondering why the two heros are meandering around, in no peril, on some bland mission, that they had zero stakes in, with no defined opposition. The flash and spectacle was huge, but after a 30 minutes effects real, without a compelling story to tell, boredom thick as a Novocaine drenched towel wraps around your head nullifies all that visual pageantry parading before you. At least Fifth Element had Gary Oldman as the heavy. This movie has... NOBODY! (There is one, but nothing is revealed until the movie is almost over, way past the time I stopped caring)

8. The two leads are supposed to be military bad-asses, but they look like children ripped from a JC Penny Back to School catalog. Pretty. Vacant. The dog shit dialog Besson gives them is embarrassing, Attack of the Clones embarrassing,  and not for a second did I believe in their relationship, or sense a dime's worth of sexual tension. They are plastic people in a plastic world with plastic puppy love problems. And their needs, their wants, their drive? I have no idea. To do their job? To do what they're told? They are supposed to be motivated by this love they have for one another, but the actors's total lack of chemistry torpedoes any dramatic weight this might have. Mannequins in Space!
I. Love. You.


9.  So angry nerd venting done. There are some great things in this. Concept Art Orgy! I loved the designs in this, with the exception of the three gargoyle ducks. Everything in this has a level of detail that is staggering. If the story had been compelling, I could see this being a totally immersive experience. One for the ages.The design of the death squad robots, a combination of a S&M Frankenstein's monster and a black muscle car, is pretty rad.

In fact, there are so many cool visual ideas in this that I recommend the movie just on this level. I loved the space suits, and the rubber monsters, and the space city. Visual Perfection.  I would buy an "Art of Valerian" book to really soak in the images.

10. I have not read the comic that this was based on, but a Utopian space city populated by a thousand different alien species all sharing their strengths and cultures is such a great concept that it made me want to seek out the source material.

BONUS - The opening credits, getting us up to date on the movie's universe was so perfect and really made me think I was about to see something great.



So in the end, 4 out of 10. But I am not disappointed. 1997 prepared me for this nonsense.


FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

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Sunday, July 23, 2017

Ten Thoughts on The Void (2016)



1. You ever catch something streaming on Netflix and wish you had caught it in the theater? An actual popcorn and soda, left the house, put on pants movie theater. Me neither. Wait. There was this one time I watched a relatively obscure Canadian horror film called The Void. Now that would have been awesome in the theater. A midnight show, oh man, can you image watching The Void during a caffeine jitter fueled midnight movie? I may have to bulldoze my back yard to put up a theater so I can watch this and Fury Road over and over, as big as they gotta be.

2. Astron 6, I love you. Father's Day, not my bag, but Manborg was the love letter to early 90's Full Moon / Albert Pyun movies that I NEEDED at that point in my life. You killed it with this one, thus I am now your devoted Fanboy. I will fly into unreasonable Nerd Rage if I hear anyone talk badly about this or Manborg. Promise.

3. This is so gooey about Carpenter and 80's horror, that if you are the type that gets gooey over Carpenter and 80's horror, this flick will be your jam. Is it cribbing? Sure, but it is doing it so well, and it is engaging and visceral film making. It's homage, but like the totally rad Turbo Kid, it doesn't forget to be an awesome movie in its own right while gushing love all over its influences..

4. Flicks I caught reference to: From Beyond, The Beyond, Hellraiser 2, Halloween 2, Assault on Precinct 13, Prince of Darkness, The Thing, and Night of the Living Dead (but they all reference NOTLD, it's in the DNA). To top it off, the end credits use old Carpenter font. I love it when Carpenter Disciples use his font, like Neil Marshall in Doomsday, it makes me like their movie more, because at least I know they have good taste. Here's the wiki link on the font. 

5. The monster game in this is off the chain. No terrible CG video games here children. This is hardcore Clive Barker Muppet time. The design and execution will make you sing hymns to Cthulhu. These guys did not play around. The filmmakers do SFX for their day jobs, and you could feel their pent up passion for silicone and ultra-slime glop all over the frame. The creatures and demons put this into special next level territory. Well done, gents.

6. If you don't shoot these creations right, if you don't make an atmospheric movie around them, then it's all wasted.  Lucky for you, the cinematography and set design are the best. Especially the way they shot the burned out section of the isolated small town hospital. I was there man, it was very effective.

7. The acting is really good in this too. Nothing took me out of the movie as being "bad", and there are some real standout characters that I could root for. The best was the actress playing an intern in over her head, Ellen Wong. She's in the new GLOW show on Netflix. Need to check that out.

8. Horse riding Zombie Cowgirl from Survival of the Dead is the main heroine in this. She's great! I'm glad to see her again.
Yeah, that's her.
9. Well paced and never boring. You can have good monsters, and nice pretty pictures, but if you don't feel the movie is going anywhere, then who cares in the end? This movie has a great feel of escalating dread, building and building until you are trapped by its sick voodoo. Every time I thought about checking my phone, something so gross and bizarre happened that I snapped back to full attention.

10. So, I can't scream about this enough. I. Loved. This. Movie. If you wanted to pair it with something, maybe Prince of Darkness, but for something more recent, Frankenstein's Army was  another really cool monster movie with killer creature designs. It's not as good as this, but would be fun as the second half of a double feature. At a theater. Weep.



FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

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Monday, June 12, 2017

Ten Thoughts on Wonder Woman (2017)


  1. The beginning is trouble. So much info dumped through voiceovers and narration, spinning my brains as I struggled to get into the movie. A cool three-dimensional renascence painting punched me in the face with the mythology when all I wanted was to settle in.
  2. Robin Wright makes the most of the Ren Fest dialogue. I hate high fantasy movies because of the faux Shakespearian dialogue.  I struggled with this opening. I'm just not the audience for this stuff. Lord of the Rings? Nope. Game of thrones? Snooze. I liked Dragonslayer, except to the lead. I'm picky. Robin Wright has some great badass moments. Watch this with The Princess Bride to see the evolution of Buttercup.
  3. Gal Gardot. I wanted more Olympic athlete and she comes off like a supermodel just off the catwalk. But hold on! She has this wide-eyed doe quality that works. Innocence, vulnerability, and idealism in the most terrible and unbeatable situations. This is not the ultimate badass versus Nazis. This is not Angelina Jolie or Atomic Blonde. Wonder Woman is not a man in a woman's body. She does not show boat or kill someone just to look cool. She is very feminine, and acts only from her deep-seated values. This is the major conflict and what I loved most. Take a mythological goddess, a cartoon character, and put her in the middle of a complicated political mess, World War One, where there are bad guys on every side, and have them deal with that. It is her coming to grips with humanity's self-destructive nature that sets this movie and apart, and makes it into an interesting thought experiment. Gal Gardot took me through this transition, with not the most polished subtle performance, but with enough charisma and humanity to bring me over.
  4. The wish fulfillment that war is caused by a third party devil that leads people to acts of violence, and if you slay the dragon, evil will be vanquished gets tested against the fog of war. Myth vs reality. One thing I have not liked about the new run of comic movies is their use of real world aesthetics, except for the one blue underwear character. I like a more unified world so our hero doesn't look so out of place. When I saw the trailer for Wonder Woman I thought it was the ultimate example of this, but her contrast in this environment is the whole theme of the movie. In dark complicated times, we need a bright beacon of idealism that represents the best of us. Something uncompromised and pure and mythic to guide us back into the light. Her presence in this mud drenched war torn hell illustrated that idea beautifully.
  5. So, a Syfy Original medieval flick, that turns into a fish out of water comedy when Diana comes to black soot London and has to hassle with dumb men and corsets. I thought it was all fine and good, but not very interesting. But once we get on the front lines, and Diana steps for the first time into the Wonder Woman role, that was so dramatic and earned, it made the hour buildup worth it. This moment could have been tossed out, but it comes at that perfect moment when we've heard all the reasons she can't, and when she does, it was pure movie awesomeness. Gardot and the movie pulled me in and I had a great time from that moment on.
  6. Such a great cast of interesting faces that look like comic drawings. Very distinct profiles and personalities. The thing that I hate about movies is bland wooden characters that could be replaced by anything, a frying pan, and it wouldn't make a difference. If a sock puppet would be more interesting, you need to beef up that script and performance.  This movie was so well cast. Danny Houston looks like a drawing. The team that joins with Wonder Woman are given a few moments to show their characters. In this you don't have the typical cold hearted sniper, but a man who drinks himself to sleep and who can't bring himself to pull the trigger.  I like that there was an attempt to give them personalities, though the Native American made me think of the old Jeanne Garofalo bit about the movie Speed. If that character was not here though, we couldn't muddy the moral waters of America's past, so thematically we are still cool.
  7. Doctor Poison. I really liked her. I wish she had more scenes. She has the best wicked witch laugh. I wanted just one more greasy act of evil from her.
  8. So many gas masks. World War One. Gas Masks. I loves me some gas masks, and when all the soldiers take the masks off at the end, that worked as a nifty metaphor.
  9. MAYBE A SPOILER???? How great is David Thewlis? Best actor ever? He gets to play quiet and loud here. My wife had some issues with his casting during the climax, it can be a funny contrast of head and body. I get it, but seriously, he's the best.
  10. The female director's gaze on Chris Pine made me feel very body conscious. I wrapped up and gave my wife the stink eye.


SHOW STOPPER! That first Wonder Woman action scene will go down with Spider Man learning he can go up walls and "I'm always angry" from Avengers as one of the greatest comic scenes ever.

Mad Nerd Moment - It has that CGI over saturation that looks cool but feels plastic and takes me out of the movie. There is enough real mud to get me back into it. And gas masks.



Saturday, June 03, 2017

Ten Thoughts on Alien: Covenant (2017)

The best thing about the movie, this awesome poster!

1. Remember Alien? That movie is awesome. Aliens? Awesome too! Alien 3? Lots to love, but too much of a downer to be any fun. Alien 4? Besides a weird Sigourney Weaver and one of the best scenes in the series (embryo freak lab), a big tonal mess. Alien Vs Predator? Fun. Alien Vs Predator 2? Never saw it. Who wants to see aliens running around the forrest? That's why we have SyFy Originals.Prometheus? Loved it, haters going to hate but it put the series back on track. Now this. Sigh.

2. Ridley Scott entries in the series should be called "Worst Scientists Caught on Tape". Nothing in this movie would have happened if these highly trained scientists, entrusted with colonizing a planet (presumably because Earth is now a floating turd circling the cosmic drain), had used any common sense at all. So many dumb decisions getting so many people killed, like...

3. SPACESUITS! Where are your SPACESUITS? You don't know what germs you're breathing! NASA goes through all these precautions to sterilize the Mars Rover to help ease cross contamination, and that is to a dead planet! These scientists, explorers, who are as dumb as dirt, will not wear a helmet just to be safe.  Sure, Prometheus, they all took off their helmets, but the guy who started it was a thrill seeking Mountain Dew dude, and he wanted to be the first person to breathe an alien atmosphere. To him it was worth it. None of the characters in this movie are like that. I say they didn't wear them because of the flack the last movie got for taking off the helmets, Ridley said, no spacesuits, we're going to skip all that. The space truckers in Alien knew enough to wear spacesuits. This felt like Star Trek. Beam down and if I get sick, oh well. If I make the population sick, oh well. SPACESUITS! Why did they wear space suits in the space walk scenes? Obviously they don't believe in them. It's total Black Hole science.

Spacesuit Schmacesuit
4. More sticking their faces in gross, unknown, in some cases obviously hostile alien creatures, only to be, surprise! MURDERED! Kane did it in Alien, but Kane was like that, it was stupid but in character. Prometheus, we had the cute little scorpion python monster that was hissing and pissed off that the BIOLOGIST tries to pet. DEAD! And in this one, the super careful by the books leader, who never does anything by the books, puts his face down in the alien egg to see a freaky spider wrapped in a stomach, and he's totally okay with it and just goes bobbing for apples. Other "smart" people are sniffing around these spore balls, while pissing on the untouched alien world, while smoking (not even a e-cigerette, a combustible old style Camel). Of course the spores infect them. Know what would have helped prevent that? SPACESUITS!!!

5. I totally agree with the second in command girl. You are going to scrap the mission to go detouring to this other planet? Risking all those lives and the entire unborn colony. I thought you were by the book!

6. I like how they subverted expectations when they arrive at the planet and it is at first glance a total paradise. These explorers, who have been cooped up on this spaceship for years, are totally unimpressed by it all. They don't seem excited to have discovered the planet, or the possibilities. Has Earth already colonized before and this is old hat. Oh just another new planet, no big deal.

7. I liked the necropolis stuff. That was cool. Liked the ancient culture stuff. The medieval feel of it, with the robot David being a Leonardo Da Vinci type guy. The medieval stuff, what I liked best about Alien 3 is what I liked best about this movie, turning it into a Gothic castle horror movie. But they also ported over the worst thing from Alien 3...

8. Spoilers! The main lady from Prometheus is not in this movie!!! Don't be fooled. She is dead before the movie starts and we only see her body. I liked her! I wanted to see her continued story. Nope, they pull a Newt and unceremoniously dump her.

9. So in 200 years, people are still singing John Denver? What songs from 200 years ago do you hum along to?

10. SPOILERS! David, the robot, designed the bio-mechanical xenomorphs! They are not what you get when an engineer gets a face hugger, they are not organically a part of the alien technology from part one. David has been fiddling around with their DNA while sitting around in the abandoned engineer world and he makes them. Why do they look like that if they are not part of the bio-mechanical universe Giger created. They come out of the humans looking like hairless cats, and David messed around with them and turned them into biomechs. THAT IS SO MUCH HOT GARBAGE!!

EXTRA! There is no build up or suspense in this movie. Things just happen. The solar flare just happens. Discovering the abandoned ship just happens. The fate of the engineers just happens. A xenomorph shows up in the end, no build up. No anticipation. Just goes through the paces. Especially the last 20 minutes where the movie is over but they have to tack on the plot from the first Alien. So many rehashed moments from the earlier films. You can check them off as they happen.

SHOW STOPPER - The blood and guts are good. They guy throwing up the Alien was pretty gross.

Closing Thoughts: Prometheus was not perfect, but it was ambitious, and I loved how it was an indirect member of the series, expanding the universe without giving to much away. The backlash of fanboys who wanted a straight Alien movie castrated this entry into being nothing but fan service. This was a passionless endeavor from Scott who directs with none of the pent up gusto he brought to Prometheus.

And one more: The trailers had Star Wars Episode 8 and Blade Runner 2. I closed my eyes and could feel 79-82 cracking the ice of my frozen old man heart.

FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

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Sunday, May 28, 2017

Fantasia vs Black Hole

Due to my subconscious drive to turn this into The Black Hole Appreciation Blog, here are some screenshot comparisons between my beloved BH, and another divisive Disney classic, 1940's Fantasia.

I watched Fantasia for the first time last night, and though I love the artistry of the animation, some segments drag on forever. But! during the Bald Mountain segment, I kept seeing all these Black Hole visual references. So, here they are!


1. I read Max was based on the Devil from this scene. Compare. Contrast.



2. Both have them lording from a mountain top.


3. Both have people falling into the mouth of hell. Get that robot out of the shot!





4. Both transition with pilgrims walking two by two, exiting the dark underworld. Seeing Fantasia helped me make sense of one of the biggest bummers of Black Hole. It's unfair that the lobotomized crew had to burn in hell due to Reinhardt's maliciousness. If I think of them as leading the Palomino's crew toward the light, then it's a much happier ending then I originally thought.






5. Finally, both move into a cathedral-like arched tunnel, moving out of danger into safety.

So in closing, all Fantasia really needs is Slim Pickens.



FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

Buy Satanic Killer Chicken Here!

Watch Short Films Here!

Saturday, May 06, 2017

Back to here. Missed you.

So Tumbler made it too convenient.

If it takes so little energy to accomplish, why not do it later, or later, or never? If I am at absolute zero, and to blog means I have to be at .000001, my brain will not warm enough to do that. But if I have to get to 25% effort, I have to do a whole voodoo ritual, and by the time that is done, I'm ready to share. In closing, tumbler took away the process, so why do it.

And, so last night I spent a good chunk of the evening looking at concept art from The Black Hole. Be glad they took the kids out of that movie. The art shows astronaut kids. Can you imagine how terrible that would have been? The thing this movie has going for it is its dismal and oppressive atmosphere. Adding a yippie zippie kid, like a Witch Mountain type character, that would have detracted too much. The argument against myself here is that it could have been The Shining in space.

Of my search I found these two posters which I must have.




What else, watched Mulan last night with Cam and Abbie. They are such Disney freaks, I'm catching their fever. I've always been a WB man, but as I age, you have to appreciate the virtuosity that goes into their animated features. Every shot of Mulan has some trick or detail that is so next level. All their 90's event movies are like that. I'm glad I got to work at the theater during this period, to see the madness of opening weekend when these came out. Hunchback is still my favorite from this period.

Last night I spent another large chunk looking at the background plates for 101 Dalmatians. I didn't know Sleeping Beauty was a big failure for the studio so they had to cut costs, and started xeroxing the pencils onto cells instead of inking by hand. All those inkers where fired, and that's why the style is so different, with the scratchy lines. It detracts from the animation, looks cheaper, but I love the look of the backgrounds. The hard lines over the painted backgrounds, and the color bleeding, I can't get enough of it.


Looks like this!




VS this from Sleeping Beauty.




They are both awesome, who we kidding.

So the kids want to go to IHOP. So we are going to IHOP.


FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

Buy Satanic Killer Chicken Here!

Watch Short Films Here!

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Moving this blog!!!!!!

I'm moving to tumbler. It's easier to post to from my phone. If blogger comes back out with a decent mobile app, I'll be back. Until then, I am at


https://samdrog.tumblr.com/




FIGHT EVIL
Sam Drog

Clown Versus Monkey! Check It Out Here!

Buy Satanic Killer Chicken Here!

Watch Short Films Here!