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Thursday, September 27, 2012

TEN Reasons You Have to See YELLOWBRICKROAD (2010)


This Ten brought to you by GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH! welcome to the awesome future

1.Worst lover’s spat ever!
2. Hiking via Star Trek bridge attack via THX 1138 sonic torture scene
3. Ate all the candy guilt trip
4.Bad Photo Shop Apocalypse
5. It’s the Scarecrow, OMG!
6. These people have jobs, I love them, no spring break students! 
7. Loved Walter, that actor is awesome  
8. New Hampshire is terrifying
9. It’s deep man and you just don’t get me man!
10. Old Timey music! Look out!
SHOW STOPPER - The creepy popcorn girl!

7.5/10 - good stuff! -sd

ps- no more google search

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

CLOWN VERSUS MONKEY: King of the Apes

CLOWN VERSUS MONKEY: King of the Apes: This one is finally done, just added the graphics thanks to  Jonas Ferreira  , editor extraordinaire. -sd

King of the Apes


This one is finally done, just added the graphics thanks to  Jonas Ferreira , editor extraordinaire. -sd

Monday, August 27, 2012

Sunday, August 12, 2012

TEN: Ten Things I Noticed from seeing Halloween on the Big Screen for the first time, thanks to Atlanta's Splatter Cinema at the Plaza!

ramble alert!!!

that says halloween, i swear
no slides! hooray!

1. Halloween, being almost 35 years old, still can bring in the crowd. So nice to see how many horror fiends came out.

2. That being said, and you all know Carpenter is my boy, but I can not imaging the movie being able to rise in classic status if it had come out today with 2000 channels, Internet, instant streaming, and all the million of diversions. It's not just movie theaters and TV anymore. I think this one would get lost in the glut of "5 instant cult classics" that come out weekly. Not saying it wouldn't, and hard to say since Halloween is the face that launched a million ships, every horror movie steals from it. I'm just saying, this movie was not an immediate sensation, and was allowed to grow in reputation while still in the theater.

3. And! I never noticed how bear bones this movie is. It is really low budget, and seeing on the big screen really brings it home. Few locations and actors, and very talky and walky. People walking and talking, while some one is stalking. That's the whole movie. Not much going on. I know I'm seeing this through jaded horror saturated eyes, but really, this is not about telling a nuanced story.

4. I never noticed how much the camera is swarming around in the first half of the movie. The movie is designed to be more claustrophobic as it progresses, but man the camera is very dynamic, almost verite in the beginning. We are constantly moving.

5. Everytime Donald Pleasence opens his mouth, magic happens. He is batnuts insane, talking that cop's ear off. "More fancy talk", saith the cop.

6. Every man in this movie is a total moron, or a psychopath. I think Debra Hill is the magic ingredient to this mix. She adds this strong feminist undercurrent. Without her contribution to the script, this would be pretty nondescript horror film. The only real people in this movie are the women. The film focuses on the three teenage girls and as they slowly walk into the path of this truck.

7. Everyone has a date except for Laurie Strode. Even the kids are a pair. Laurie says that men think she's too smart. Everyone else paired up and are on their way to living happy little suburban lives. Debra Hill was producing Hollywood movies in her twenties. The idea of marrying some moron and getting him a beer while he watches the game would have made her puke. So here is Laurie, with this spectre date slowly getting closer. By Laurie striking at the Shape and defeating him, she is lashing out and rejecting the status quo. The Shape for me now represents the inevitability of life, of the excepted and the unexamined roles we take. Of birth, marriage, work, carriers, and just general conformity. The Shape is death by loss of identity.

I'm rambling film school bullshit, but that is what the Internet is for dammit!

8. I never noticed that the whole reason that The Shape even starts after Laurie is because she comes to his house to drop a key off for her dad who is in real estate. Some how I never made that connection, the plot entangled in my brain with the wacky stuff from the sequels about Laurie being his lost sister. It is scarier that this is just some psycho stalker, and him coming into her life is just a random bit of bad luck.

9. In the 70s I guess you could stalk around an elementary school and stare at the students while wearing a scary mask. Those were different times.

10. In conclusion, I love this movie, but now more because of Debra Hill then the Carpenter influence. Carpenter has always been better with a good collaborator at the script. They Live being a great example of having nothing to say once the first 20 minutes have played out, the first twenty being an awesome adaption of the the short story source material. Great movies are like this. They grow with you. I got a lot out of this screening but not for the reasons I was suspecting.

BONUS: The jack o'lantern during the opening credits is huge on the silver screen. I mean, BIG man!


sd

Wednesday, July 04, 2012

Saturday, June 30, 2012

TEN Reasons you have to see ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER


1. Bowler Hat! I'm a sucker for a good bowler hat. A character wears one.

2. Jimmi Simpson is the actor who wears the bowler hat, and the only thing I know him from is a scene in David Fincher's Zodiac, where he plays a shifty loser. I like shifty losers in movies. This actor has a weird vibe that I like.

3. You gotta love all the black long coats and top hats going on. All the vampires wear leather and have awesome sunglasses on. Oh, the vampires can walk around in daylight, that confused me at first. Just warning you. In closing, great costumes.

4. Marton Csokas is a great vampire character and he walks around in the daylight (confusing at first). He has some nasty teeth in the first scene and plays a really slimy dude. He seems less slimy later, but still, that first scene is great.

5. Marton fights Abe Lincoln in the middle of a bunch of stampeding horses. It was CG as hell, but I must say I have never seen a fight scene that takes place in and over stampeding horses. 

6. All the fight scenes are pretty neat. Great choreography. AX-FU! There is a great ax in this. For me, the star of the movie is the ax.

7. Zack Snyder must be proud that action scenes love his speed up/slow down method these days. I only mention it because because the CG blood erupting in slow mo was actually quite beautiful and badass. And I usually hate CG blood.

8. There is a great old creepy plantation in this. I'm a sucker for a creepy moonlit plantation with the orange lamp light glowing in the windows. Total Sucker.

9. So we are telling revisionist history here, and the sweeping wide shots with recreations of famous battles and old cities are really impressive. The camera glides over these insanely detailed digital paintings and you go "Ohh-Ahh!"

10. Speaking of "Oh-Ah", the ending battle on a speeding train climaxes in a real orgy if chaos and boom boom bam! It is pure spectacle, and not really convincing, but like the horse scene, conceptually really neat. Mainly, the little red embers coming from the locomotive fill the air and are really cool and made me wish I had watched this in 3D. I would say watch this in 3D (i hate 3D) just because...

THIS MOMENT BROUGHT TO YOU BY WTF! - the day scenes are so over-lit everything looks flat and boring. If you are looking at it through tented 3D glasses, it is probably fine. The night scenes are great, but in the day this looks like bad History Channel Reenactment Theater. Bluh. PLUS! I like the digital projectors that have been coming along, giving movies this vibrant clean perfection, but! 

ONE MORE WTF! You shoot it on digital and show it through a digital projector, man I see every pore on your face. It freaks me out. It doesn't look cinematic. It's too freaking perfect. I know its progress, but it looks cheap man. I respect all the work and artistry that goes into these movies, but I sat in my favorite seat, forth row up the stadium, and I was totally taken out of the movie by the perfectly defined inner contours of the actor's nostrils. I see too much now. I need some glaucoma so I can start enjoying movies again. 

Showstopper - Share an ax with a buddy, kill twice the vampires!

Friday, June 29, 2012

Sunday, June 17, 2012

TEN reasons you have to see... PROMETHEUS!



1. Alien pretty muched changed my life when I saw it as a kid. And this movie happens in the same universe. All the doors look, open and close, and make the same noises the doors in Alien did. So see if for nothing else then the ecstasy that comes from seeing those airlock doors swish open and closed, see this movie NOW!

2. Did I mention that Ridley Scott hasn’t made a science fiction movie since 1982. Can I say that most of the ills in society are pretty much caused because of this fact. Did you know that now Ridley Scott has made another science fiction movie that world peace should be coming up any second now.

3. Did you know that Darth Vader made C-3PO? Me neither. It kinda ruined everything didn’t it? Well, campers, you will be relieved to know that by then end of this movie, you will still have no idea who built C-3PO. In fact, you will have no idea what anything in life is.

4. Related to #3: If you call this a prequel, it is the best case scenario. It gives you more of that universe you wish you could live in, but it doesn’t rob the mystery of the original. I still have no idea what the Space Jockeys are or how their tech works. It answered questions from the first movie by asking more questions, thus making the first movie a small peek at the much bigger universe. Well played, movie.

5. If I could make any geek purchase, it would be one of those tank go-carts. I will cry everyday until I get a tank go-cart.

6. Noomi Rapace is so wonderful in this. Thank you world for making her the lead actress and not uber barbie Charlize Theron. Both are great, but Noomi looks like a scientist and is vulnerable and you feel for her man. Theron is great here too, but I have trouble relating to supermodels, so there you go.

7. What does a robot do all day with no one to talk to? Thank you movie for showing me that!

8. So in 1977 Dan O’Bannon wrote Alien (called Star Beast at the time), and he had these ancient hive mounds in them, and they did not make it into the final movie. O’Bannon cried himself to sleep then woke up the next day and kept on being awesome. Well, his ghost can now go into the light because after 30 plus years we have the mounds. You get to see them in this movie. What the hell are you waiting for! Go see it!

9. Idris Elba may be the best thing to happen to movies in the last couple of years. You just want to hang out with that dude!

10. Sean Harris, who may be my favorite actor these days, who always rocks and who played Ian Curtis in 24 Hour Party People and a mutant freak in Creep and a freaky freak in Harry Brown and who is just my kind of performer is here and get this, he plays a tattooed red headed mohawked douchebag! And he has the best death(?) in the movie. Ouch, really ouch.

Showstopper! Medical Pod Scene is a gift to humanity that will bring a glow to any rainy day from now on.



This moment brought to you by WTF! - You like the Giger ship in Alien, well here you go, I'm going to throw it at your head! HARDCORE GARRRR!!!!!